


Together With You, For My Sake and Yours

by LadyofHylia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Minor Illness, Parental Feelings, caretaker!Eren, child!levi, mentions of minor character death, platonic eren/levi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-12 03:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3342101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyofHylia/pseuds/LadyofHylia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They may not be related by blood, but Eren cared for Levi as if they were. Any passerby could tell that the little boy in Eren's arms felt the same way. They certainly didn't choose this path in life, but they were making it the best life they could. Together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Time of Year

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I suppose this is my first proper fanfiction, though certainly not my first time writing. That being said, if you read and want to drop a comment, it would be much appreciated. If you would rather not, no pressure.
> 
> This is just a small fic at this point, not sure if I should continue? Make a small series perhaps of little domestic moments? A linear storyline continuing from where this chapter leaves off? I dunno. Opinions? You can leave 'em in the comments for me if you'd like.
> 
> Anyway, this is for TheSpazzBot. She's taking drabble commissions to pay for school right now, but I couldn't commission her, so I guess I figured I'd write her something instead. That being said, if you CAN commission her and are looking for some great writing, head her way.  
> Edit: I don't believe TheSpazzBot is still taking commissions, as this was quite a while ago, but if you want to know for sure checking her tumblr would be the best thing to do.

It was late. Or maybe it was early. At this point, Eren really wasn't sure. All he knew was that he had seen 4 am, and that had to be _at least_ an hour ago. He sighed deeply. It wasn't the first time he had been awake so long; far from it. Usually, though, it was because he wanted to be awake. 3 am fast food runs? Why not? Marathon binge of his newest anime obsession? All the time. Heck, sometimes he was awake just because he got lost in thought.

This time, though. A sharp tug pulled at his chest as he glanced down at the child sleeping fitfully on his bed. Levi was not particularly prone to illness, and when he did get sick it was usually just the yearly virus that spread through the local schools.

Unfortunately, it was that time of year again.

Eren knew, realistically, that Levi would probably be better in a day or two. That fact alone could not put his anxieties to rest, however. Not when Levi’s normally perfect hair clung to his forehead in sweat, or his breathing sounded more like a forty year old car than a seven year old boy, shallow with a slight wheeze, coughing every few minutes. Eren found he could never rest when Levi got sick. He may not have been related by blood, but he cared for Levi as if he were. He imagined that the helpless restlessness clawing at his chest was how parents felt when their children were sick. He reached out carefully to brush back Levi’s black locks, replacing them with a cool, damp towel. Levi flinched slightly and shivered, but did not wake. Eren let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.

Eren had just gotten the child to sleep again about twenty minutes ago. Levi had been sluggish and even more quiet than usual when he arrived home from school. Eren had grown continually more concerned as he watched as Levi picked at his dinner and zoned out during his favorite show. Eren had suggested an early bedtime that night when Levi began nodding off while eating the brownies Eren had made for a snack. It was when Levi agreed to the early bedtime that Eren knew he must be sick. Levi wasn't one to struggle against his usual bedtime, but he didn't waste any of his time while he was awake, either. 

Eren had settled himself on the couch after tucking Levi in around 8. There was little on the television that could hold his interest, especially with the knowledge of the sick little boy upstairs. He found himself stretched out along the length of the couch, one leg over the armrest and the other dangling near the floor. He had flipped aimlessly through the channels, eventually stopping on an infomercial for some over-the-door shoe organizer when the remote for the TV died. A hand ran down over his face and lifted to card through his hair as he sighed. He was exhausted, but made a mental note replace the batteries.

 _Wait_. Levi's booklight in the study had run out of batteries earlier in the week, at which point he had discovered that they were completely out.  _Scratch that,_ he thought,  _I'll need to pick some AA's up when I go for groceries tomorrow. I should make sure we have enough cold medicine and tissues as well._

At that thought, Eren had heaved himself off of the couch with a groan. The thing was kind of old, but worn in perfectly; the only bad part was getting up. He had known he wouldn't be able to rest well that night, and Levi still might not be feeling well tomorrow, so he padded into the kitchen and grabbed his cellphone to call in to work. He also wrote a reminder for himself on a sticky-note that he would need to call in to Levi's school in the morning as well. Even if he was feeling better, the school had a policy that if children had gotten sick, they were to wait at least 24 hours after their fever had dissipated before returning to school, especially during flu season. _  
_

Eren had grabbed an apple from the fridge - a Gala, his favorite - and let himself sink into the couch once more. The infomercial had apparently ended while he was in the kitchen, but now there was a new one on. Some sort of miracle slicer/peeler/corer that he determined at a glance would only be a hazard to his health in his kitchen. He had accidentally cut himself while making dinner so many times that Levi _insisted_  Eren keep a box (or two or three) of band-aids in the meticulously organized junk drawer underneath the blender. 

As the television droned on, Eren had nodded off once or twice, falling into small interrupted bits of sleep. It was around a quarter after 2 am that he startled awake. He had blinked blearily for a moment, trying to determine what had woken him. He had gotten his answer when he heard the muffled sound of deep coughing then wet retching noises. He shot off the couch and was to the bottom of the stairs when a panicked " _Eren!_ " rang in the quiet of the house. He had pushed himself up the stairs as fast as he possibly could. When he had reached Levi's room, he almost threw the door open, but had enough presence of mind to not put a hole through the drywall (like last time). 

The sight Eren was met with was about what he had expected. The fact that he had expected it had not dulled the pain in his chest as he rushed over to the now very much awake Levi. 

"Eren! P-please! Off! Get it off! I can't- it won't-!" Levi had sobbed as he tried to wrench off his now very soiled pajamas. He was crying so hard Eren had heard a few hiccups as he tried to comfort him. Levi was the type of child that  _hated_ to be dirty like this. Eren had murmured soft reassurances to him as he helped Levi with the tricky buttons. Levi could usually get them by himself, but Eren wasn't surprised that he had been unable to this time; the buttons were slick and so were Levi's hands. Eren had felt slightly responsible; he had after all been the one to get out the footie pajamas for Levi. He had shaken off that thought quickly, however. Guilt would do him no good, and Levi loved the footie pajamas when he wasn't feeling good. Eren had a sneaking suspicion that he felt more secure when bundled up in the gray and red pj's. 

After helping him out of his vile clothes, Eren had scooped Levi up and carried him to the bathroom. He had hugged the small bare body to his chest as he began filling the bathtub, but then had set Levi down on the edge of the tub while he plugged in the space heater to warm the room up a bit (on the counter and away from the water of course. Eren had almost learned that one the hard way once). He had then sat next to Levi and pulled his head to rest against him, stroking the boy's hair gently as the tub filled, humming softly to no tune in particular. Eren knew that Levi found something calming about the way his voice rumbled in his chest when he did so, and used it to his advantage. He simply hadn't been able to watch Levi tremble any longer. The hiccups and sobs had stopped, thankfully, but Levi had still appeared shaken. 

The bath hadn't taken long, as Eren had stayed to help Levi wash up and to keep him from falling asleep in the tub. Levi was still sick, so despite having gone to bed early, he was still exhausted. And having lost what little dinner he had eaten had taken its toll as well. 

Once he had been dried off and had some warm and easily removable pajamas on - just in case - Eren had tucked him back in. As soon as Levi had assured him that he'd be okay, he had run downstairs to get one of their old and empty plastic gallon-size ice cream tubs to put next to Levi. Though he had indeed calmed down, going back to sleep was no easy task. Eren had read to Levi from a book and played some soft music for a while, to make sure he was completely relaxed. Eren had gotten him to that state around 4 am, that was how he knew now that it must be much later. Eren had turned on the fan in Levi's room for some white noise and taken his seat next to the bed once more. 

Levi had looked up at him then, barely able to keep his eyes open.

"Eren?" He had said, voice barely even a whisper.

"Hmm? What is it Levi? Do you need something?" Eren had asked. He had watched then as Levi fidgeted a bit. Eren had been able to tell he wanted to ask something, but Levi tended to be quite obstinate about letting his desires known, especially when he didn't feel good. "You can say whatever you need to Levi," he had encouraged, "I won't be mad or bothered."

Levi had nodded slightly at that, and spoke again, just a bit louder than before, "Will you stay with me tonight? I'm... I just..." He had sunk lower into his bed, burying his face up to his nose in the blankets.

"Are you scared you might throw up again?" Eren had questioned gently. He smiled reassuringly and the slight nod he had received again. "I'll stay here. Don't worry."

After that, Levi had fallen asleep quite quickly, leaving Eren to watch him as he slept fitfully. 

Now here he was, completely exhausted, but thankfully not going to work the next day. He mentally started to plan his day tomorrow, with options for whether or not Levi was still sick. He padded softly out of the room and into his own, grabbing a pen, a pad of sticky notes (he really liked sticky notes), a couple pillows, and some blankets. He wrote down his ideas as he carried everything into Levi's room. Once he had finished writing his notes, as he was prone to forgetting great late-night ideas, he set the pen and paper on the stand next to Levi's bed and began to set up his own temporary bed. When it was done, he touched the wash cloth on Levi's forehead and determined it needed to be run under cold water again, as it had grown warm from the boy's fever. 

After dampening it again, he leaned over Levi's small, sleeping form and gently wiped the cloth over his forehead once, moved his dark bangs back, and kissed his forehead gently. 

"I'll always be here, Levi," he murmured, "I will do everything in my power to keep it this way. With you and me here, together. For your sake, and for mine."

He pressed another gentle kiss Levi's face and placed the cloth back on his forehead.

With a yawn and a stretch, he laid himself down and allowed himself to finally rest, knowing that tomorrow would come all too soon. 

 


	2. A Day In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sick kid and the grown-up kid spend a quiet day in together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just dedicate each chapter to a different author? Like, there's so many in this fandom who are so great. I mean, I guess it is my fic, so I'm just gonna say this one is for m00n_un1t_luna.

Well, it wasn't how he normally woke up, but Eren supposed there were worse ways to wake up than having your face stepped on by a seven year old. There were certainly worse _places_ to be stepped on. He would take the small victories.

Nonetheless, having his face stepped on most certainly _did_ wake him up, and he was barely able to sort of catch Levi as he yelped and tripped, resulting in quite an interesting pile by the side of Levi’s bed. Levi stared at Eren and could only blink in surprise as Eren started snickering, which soon turned into full-blown laughter. Levi continued to stare until Eren gently poked him in the nose with a laughing “Boop!” and caused Levi to blink again. His lips twitched slightly, and then he _giggled_ , the noise high and happy, if not a bit nasal from congestion. Eren felt a happy warmth spread through him. He would do everything in his power to protect that smile and that laugh.

But then Levi’s giggles turned to coughing, and fear grew in his eyes as his coughs grew deeper. Eren realized quickly that Levi was still very much afraid he might throw up again and the deep-chested coughs were what had preceded it last night. The panic that was starting to overtake the small boy doing nothing to help him.

“Levi! Levi, look at me. You’re okay,” Eren spoke in hushed tones as he sat up, though Levi didn't appear to believe him. “Hey, breathe, okay? You need to take deeper breaths. Levi, _breathe_. Don’t panic.” Eren could see that the boy was still worried, but the panic was dissipating and his breaths were slightly more normal, though still riddled with coughing. “Okay, come on, breathe in, then out. In, and out, okay?” Eren continued to talk Levi down, rubbing up and down his back slowly but firmly, reassuring him of his presence. After a few minutes, Levi seemed less worried since it had been a few minutes and he hadn't thrown up.

“There we go. Still not feeling so great, kiddo?” Eren knew the answer already, but still felt he should ask.

Levi paused, shook his head slightly, then hoarsely said, “Nuh-uh. I don’t feel good, Eren. I don’t like it.” He looked up at Eren with furrowed brows, tears in the corners of his eyes from coughing, and a frown that was bordering on a pout. In another circumstance, Eren probably would have found the pout adorable on the child, but all he felt now was a sharp twist in his chest. He hated when Levi was sick.

“Okay, kiddo,” he said as he stood and scooped Levi into his arms. “We’ll get through it. Does breakfast sound good?” He grabbed his sticky notes off the nightstand and began heading toward the stairs.

Levi tilted his head slightly as he thought it over. “Maybe some cheerios?”

“We can do that. Probably without milk for today though, okay? I don’t wanna upset your tummy.” Eren stepped off of the bottom stair and walked slowly over to the couch. He set Levi down and handed him the remote, then popped up a finger in a gesture to tell Levi he’d be right back. Eren opened the linen closet and pulled out several of the softest blankets they owned. Though he didn’t often say so, Levi loved to cuddle with Eren, though when Eren was busy Levi would make do some other way. Eren had walked into a room many times to find Levi snuggled into multiple layers of blankets, often clutching a pillow as well, surrounding himself on all sides to make himself feel cozy and safe. And that was any normal day. When he was sick, he was much more snuggly than usual – thus the soft blankets. While Eren would love nothing more than to cuddle little Levi all day, he had chores to do around the house besides making sure Levi was well hydrated, took medicine, wasn't running too high of a fever, and was comfortable.

He set the pile of blankets on the opposite end of the couch from Levi, then snagged the first one off of the top and opened it up wide. He gently grabbed Levi and brought him up to rest on his left hip for a moment, spreading the blanket out on the couch to become the base of Levi’s little ‘nest.’ He set Levi down and grabbed another blanket, setting it in Levi’s lap and pulling the ends around under his arms to settle behind his back. He picked up a third and wrapped it around Levi’s back and shoulders, leaving an open space so Levi could still use his hands. Levi looked up at Eren and smiled, then wiggled a bit, snuggling himself into his blanket cocoon.

Eren returned the smile and asked, “All good?” When he received a nod in return, he moved to the kitchen. He reached into the cupboard above the toaster and grabbed one of the small bright blue plastic bowls they had gotten from Ikea last year then got the box of Cheerios out from behind the middle set of pantry doors. He filled the small bowl about half way and put the box back. Eren started to head back to the living room but stopped himself, turning around instead to grab a small cup to fill with water for Levi. He settled on the green and blue polka-dot one with the built-in straw, filled it up, and resumed his path to the sick boy on the couch. He set the water down on a coaster on the end table next to Levi and handed the child his bowl of cereal.

“We don’t know if your tummy is all better yet, so go slow on the Cheerios, okay?” Eren reminded. “And that’s just water in the cup beside you.”

Levi nodded. “Thank you, Eren,” he said quietly. He picked up a single Cheerio and bit it in half, munching like a tiny rabbit. Eren had forgotten Levi’s tendency to do that when he was sick. It was adorable. He couldn't stop a grin as he settled in on the opposite side of the couch with his sticky notes and his cell phone. He was about to shoot out a text, but when he saw Levi raise another Cheerio to his mouth, he couldn't help snapping a picture. It was too cute. And it was his new wallpaper. 

Remembering his original purpose, he opened his messages and scrolled until he found the name he was looking for.

_To: Marco_

_Hey, Marco. Are you busy? I could use a favor…_

Eren set his phone down and turned his attention to the show on TV. Levi actually liked a lot of the preschool programming still, and Eren didn’t mind most of it. Though there were some that neither of them liked. Eren tried to remember the name of the one they both found horrendous. _Hey Gabby-Gabby? Something like that._ They tended to agree on which shows were tolerable, which was why Eren found himself somewhat engrossed in the lives of the rabbits on the screen, though the adult part of him questioned where the parents of these two were and why their grandmother allowed them to live on their own and only visited once every couple episodes. But he tended to just ignore that. He was pondering what the taste of a red-hot marshmallow squirter could possibly be when his phone buzzed against the arm of the couch, startling him out of his contemplation.

_From: Marco_

_I’ve got a couple groceries to get sometime today, but otherwise I’m pretty much free. What’s up?_

Eren breathed a sigh of relief as he grabbed one of the sticky notes, eyes skimming over the list.

_To: Marco_

_Could you grab a few things for me while you’re there? Levi’s sick today. I’ll pay you back, of course._

He set the phone on his lap and glanced over at Levi. He still had a couple dozen Cheerios in the bowl, but had worked his way through quite a few of them. He watched as Levi stared at the screen, completely absorbed in the cartoon world before him.

Eren’s phone soon vibrated again, and he raised it to check Marco’s response.

_From: Marco_

_Oh, the yearly flu again? :/ That sucks. Of course I can grab some groceries for you, what all do you need?_

Eren thanked the Lord for creating a human as benevolent as Marco.

_To: Marco_

_We’re out of cold medicine and kid’s tylenol. We also need tissues, AA batteries, chicken bouillon, and a box of bowtie pasta. Is that okay? And could you maybe grab us a movie too?_

Eren hit send and received a response even faster this time.

_From: Marco_

_Of course! That’s totally fine! Which movie?_

_To: Marco_

_Thank you so much. And for the movie…_

Eren stopped for a moment to think. Levi had been wanting to watch _How to Train Your Dragon 2_ again, but Eren thought maybe an old familiar movie might be more comforting.

_To: Marco_

_Thank you so much. And for the movie… could you grab Kiki’s Delivery Service for me?_

The reply this time was almost instantaneous.

_From: Marco_

_No problem! I’ll be over in probably like an hour._

Eren smiled and shook his head.

_To: Marco_

_You all really are too good to me. You’re the best, man. Really, thanks._

It was true. His friends were incredibly supportive, and had helped him greatly through his worst days.

_From: Marco_

_Oh, come on. It’s fine. Anyway, “all we do is all that we can,” right?_

Eren’s throat tightened a bit at the phrase and he felt pressure behind his eyes.

_To: Marco_

_Yeah. Same to you and all the others. I owe you all so much. I’ll do all I can for you guys, too. I swear._

Eren reigned in his emotions a bit and hit sent. He couldn’t very well have Levi asking him what was wrong while the poor boy had been throwing up twelve hours ago.

_From: Marco_

_I know, Eren. We all do._

Eren felt the pressure build back up behind his eyes, and his throat tingle a bit. He saw that the show was on commercial, stood, and cleared his throat.

“I’m gonna go wash up, okay? You all set for now?”

Levi nodded. “That’s fine. I’m okay right now, Eren.” Then, in a smaller voice, “Thank you.”

Eren smiled fondly before leaning down and planting a kiss on the top of Levi’s head.

“Anything for you, kiddo.”

With that, Eren made his way upstairs to grab some clean clothes so he could shower.

 

* * *

 

 

A knock on the door sounded through the house as Eren was doing the dishes. Levi had sunken back into his nest again after using the bathroom and cleaning up a bit. He was in another pair of footie pajamas now, these ones were made to look like a little dinosaur. Levi looked absolutely adorable and Eren had definitely taken pictures. Again.

Eren quickly dried his hands on a dishtowel and hurried over to the door. He opened it to reveal Marco and, uninvited though not exactly unexpected, Jean. Not that he was ungrateful. They were all great friends. But he couldn't help but pick on him just a little.

“Hey, Marco, thank you so much. But I don’t think I invited you, Jean. Unless Marco dragged you out to carry the bags for him?” Eren grinned brightly, and received two similar grins in return.

“Well,” Jean said as he lifted his hands, a bag in each one, “You’re not wrong.”

Eren exchanged glances with Marco and the three of them laughed. When Eren could talk without interrupting himself with giggles, he asked, “You guys wanna come in for a few? Levi seems to be doing a bit better.”

Jean handed the bags to Eren and said, “Sorry, man. We would, but we've got to go.”

Eren looked at Marco. “I thought you said you weren't busy and totally had time to get my groceries.”

“Hey, now!” Marco protested. “I did have time, thank you very much. Stop trying to sound like you greatly inconvenienced me. You didn't. Promise. We just decided to go to the movies today and the show starts in forty-five minutes. Got to have time to get snacks and good seats, you know?”

Eren grinned sheepishly. “Okay, okay. You guys have fun then. Oh! Wait!” Eren pulled a few bills out of his pocket. “Thirty dollars is about right, yeah?”

Marco sighed. “Yeah, it is.”

Eren narrowed his eyes. “You were going to leave without reminding me to pay you back, weren't you?”

Marco turned to Jean. “Well, about time we go, right? Don’t want to be late! See ya, Eren!”

Jean rolled his eyes at Marco and turned to Eren. “Yeah, see ya,” he said as they turned and began to walk back to Marco’s yellow bug.

“Later, guys!” he called.

Eren shut the door behind him with a sigh, then took a deep breath to clear his mind. _Alright,_ he thought, _dinner, medicine for Levi, then the movie._ He walked over and set the bags on the counter, then washed his hands and began cooking.

  

* * *

 

 

After eating the rather delicious chicken noodle soup that Eren had made (with bowtie pasta, Levi’s favorite), Eren had checked Levi’s temperature and given him some of the children’s Tylenol for his fever. He seemed to be feeling much better, and Eren figured he would probably be fine by tomorrow. Luckily, tomorrow was the weekend, so they could have another couple days to relax.

Eren had nested in on the couch right beside Levi. They snuggled together and watched as Kiki used the brick oven and large paddle to bake bread. Eren wasn’t sure why, but it was always one of his favorite parts of the movie. He wiggled a bit to snuggle in closer to Levi and let out a sigh of contentment. Life had not been especially kind to them in many ways, but they had been given some great friends who were always willing to help. They would be fine.

Levi snuggled against Eren in return and looked up at him. “Thank you, Eren.”

He smiled warmly. “You’re welcome. I love you, Levi.”

Levi gave Eren a small, slightly sleepy smile. “Love you, too, Eren,” he said as he rested his head against Eren’s shoulder.

Yeah. They would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the second chapter! I know I said the chapter should have been out by early this week, but that just wasn't possible, so sorry about that. College homework sucks. Also, I stayed up until about 2am writing this chapter (I couldn't stop once I got going again), so there may be a typo or two. Let me know if you find one, please.
> 
> So... chapter three might have a bit of tragic backstory in it. This was supposed to be cute and fluffy. Oh well. I mean, there's still going to be enough fluff to rot out all your teeth and make your dentist more rich than he already is, but yeah. Might get kinda sad for a little bit. 
> 
> And, as always, thank you for reading, lovlies! <3
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment, but don't feel obligated. 
> 
> And I hope each and every one of you has a wonderful weekend.


	3. The Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is the promised feels and backstory. I hope I was clear in explaining it, though it was done mostly through character dialogue, so do let me know if something doesn't make sense. I did not read through it when I was done.
> 
> Also, I am so, SO sorry for how late this is. I can give you several quite valid excuses, along the lines of no wifi, retail summer job, and college starting, but I'll spare you the gory details. This chapter was written over the course of several months (which is kinda sad cuz it's only a little over 2000 words, but oh well. Sads are hard to write) but hopefully that's not glaringly obvious.
> 
> Edit: Also, HOLY COW!!! Over 900 hits?! Why?! I mean, thank you all so much, but just- WOW! I love you guys!

When Eren woke up that day, he had the strangest feeling that something was amiss. He felt like he knew what it should be, but the haze of sleep made it hard to think clearly. He mentally ran through a list of what it could be. _Levi? No, shouldn’t be; he got over his flu three weeks ago. Did I fall asleep with the light on again?_ He cracked open an eye and glanced upward to check. _Nope, but_ dang _the sun is really bright this morning._

Eren sat up and ran a hand through his hair. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his phone to see if he had gotten a text. _Nope, no new messages for me. But then what –_

His thoughts stopped short as he saw the date. _That’s right,_ he thought, as tears began to sting against his eyes. _How could I forget?_

Eren took some deep breaths in an attempt to clear the tight aching in his chest, then slowly sat up and rubbed the unshed tears from his eyes. It was going to be a long day.

He got out of bed to wake up Levi, as they had the day planned out already. He opened the door to find Levi already in the hallway, sitting at the top of the stairs. Eren walked over and sat next to Levi, wordlessly hugging him to his side. Levi sniffled and turned to bury his face in Eren’s side. Yeah, it was definitely gonna be a long day.

  

* * *

 

After having waffles for breakfast and getting dressed and ready for the day, Levi and Eren were out the door and on their way to town. They stopped by a few stores to pick up a few things they would need for the day, then sat in relative silence for the short drive to the local cemetery.

Eren climbed out of the car and opened Levi’s door. Levi handed Eren the items sitting next to him: a picnic basket, a blanket, and a beach bag. He unbuckled his seatbelt and carefully climbed out of the car with a bouquet of flowers that had been resting on his little lap. Eren shut the door, locked the car, and took Levi’s hand in his own. They walked slowly through the cemetery, past rows of headstones and statues, many adorned with flowers, flags, and trinkets.

They soon arrived at the site of the graves they were there to visit. Eren opened the beach bag and pulled out some water and a few cloths, then handed one of the cloths to Levi. They set to work gently cleaning the dirt and leaves off of the headstones. When Eren was done with the first one, he blew his nose, offered a tissue to Levi (who took several and a hug) and started on the next one. When all of the stones were clean, Eren spread out the blanket and sat down facing the graves, then gently tugged the small child into his lap. They sat there silently for a while, crying softly and taking comfort in the presence of one another.

It was Levi who spoke first.

“Eren? Can I… Will they… Is it all right to talk to them?” he asked.

Eren smiled down at him sadly and said, “Absolutely. I’m sure they would love to hear from you. I wanna talk to them too.”

With that said, Levi addressed his family whose bodies lay beneath the ground. “Mama… and Papa… ‘Kasa an’ Armin… I really really miss you. All the time. Eren’s takin’ good care of me and my teachers said I’m doin’ really good in school. But it’s not the same. The house seems really big and empty sometimes. But Eren helps makes it happy and full since you can’t anymore. I miss you lots and lots. And I love you lots and lots. And… um… Eren, will you talk to them now?”

Eren ran a hand through Levi’s dark locks then laid his cheek atop Levi’s head and hoarsely whispered, “Sure thing, kiddo.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, releasing it as a wobbling sigh.

“I don’t… I really don’t know where to start. It’s been _a year_ already. I just- I still can’t believe it. I still feel you all in the house; when Levi helps me cook I half expect you all to walk in after work.” Eren huffed and ran a hand through his mussed hair. “I just… I miss you. In ways I wouldn’t have ever thought about, small things that just feel… _wrong_ sometimes. But I am so grateful that I still have Levi here with me. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost all of you. It wouldn’t have been good, I know that.”

Eren looked at Levi and they nodded to each other. They grabbed the things they had brought with them out of the picnic basket and turned back towards the graves once more.

“We thought- well, I guess we thought we should bring you all something that you left behind. So Levi and I each have a gift for you. Levi, do you want to go first?”

Levi nodded slightly and picked up the first item. “Papa, I thought you might need your coffee mug. Your favorite one- the one I got you. Eren and I don’t use it cuz it’s yours and also it’s sad. So I want you to have it again.” He carefully set the mug in front of the headstone, then picked up another gift.

“Mama, you took off your locket when you left for dinner, cuz you were wearin’ that pretty pearl necklace instead. But you need it cuz it’s your favorite and- and you have to have it!” Levi was sniffling and starting to cry, so Eren began running his fingers through Levi’s hair, trying to soothe the child while also trying not to weep himself as Levi set the jewelry at the foot of the headstone.

“’K-kasa, I bringed you a b-bunch of flowers. Eren says that they’re called a bouquet cuz there’s a bunch and they look pretty together. You needed ‘em. An’ Armin, I bringed you the best skippin’ stone I ever found. I miss skippin’ stones with you. You w-were gonna be the best brother ever. L-like Eren is.”

Levi had been able to hold off his sobs just long enough to finish his presents, but now the end of his tears appeared to be a long time coming. Eren was just barely containing most of his tears, though he allowed some to fall. He took a deep breath and addressed his family once again.

“Mom, Dad, I can’t thank you enough for becoming my parents after my own were gone. You’ve been my parents for a long time now, and I know you thought of me as a true son. I could never be more grateful. You’ve given me so much; the house, an education, a family, and now Levi. I- I know that these gifts aren’t much- heck, they were yours to begin with- but this is all I can do right now. I love you.”

Eren looked to the first headstone. “Dad, I brought you your reading glasses. You didn’t need them to go out to dinner, not with Mom there to read you the menu, so you left them behind. But even though you have Mom with you still, she’s probably getting real tired of reading everything for you. And I miss you reading to us as a family. That’s one of the hardest parts about putting Levi to sleep: I never feel like I can read as well as you did. Your Froggy voice will always be my favorite Froggy voice.” Eren pulled out tissues and blew his nose, then offered the box to Levi. There was a small pile of used tissues forming on the ground beside them.

Eren picked up his second object and looked to the other name on the headstone. “Mom. I miss you so much. I wasn’t sure what to bring you at first. Levi actually helped me decide. I brought your second favorite wooden spoon that you used when you baked. We decided we should keep your favorite and use it still, but you’ve gotta have one of your best spoons to bake, right? I miss coming home to the smell of your baking, but Levi and I are trying to learn how to bake ourselves. Right, kiddo?”

“Uh-huh. We got pretty good at your cream cheese swirl brownies. But I still can’t make ‘em look as pretty as you did, Mama,” Levi said. He turned to look up at Eren and asked, “Aren’t you gonna give ‘Kasa an’ Armin their presents too?”

Eren took a deep breath and nodded. He grabbed his last two gifts, the only ones that were recently purchased. He wasn’t sure he could make it through this without having to pause from crying, but he was determined to try.

“I have two presents for you, but they were supposed to go together. I wish you could have been here to pick them out yourselves. And use them. Fate is cruel, to steal you so early.” He set the objects in front of the second stone, engraved with both Mikasa and Armin’s names. A sheer white veil in front of Mikasa’s name and a bride and groom cake topper by Armin’s. “I just- I miss you so much. I can’t- I don’t know what to do most days. I keep turning around to talk to you, but you aren’t there. And you never will be again. The only thing I’m grateful for is that Levi is still here with me. I’m so glad we decided to let you and Mom and Dad go to dinner alone to celebrate the engagement. If Levi had gone, I’d be completely alone. And if I had gone, Levi would be alone. So thank you for leaving us each other, but I wish you were still here.

“Armin, you had been planning your proposal for so long. It was so beautiful. You even had some of the wedding planned. One thing you hadn’t thought about yet was this, the cake topper. I know it isn’t much, but it’s one of the few details I could plan for you.

“Mika, I’m sure you would have found an even better veil than this one, but it reminded me of you so much. I’m sorry if it’s not quite right.” Eren’s voice was wobbling, but he wasn’t crying again yet. “It’s just not fair… You didn’t even get to enjoy being engaged for more than five hours… It’s- I-” Eren’s voice broke, and he was sobbing again, his cries sounding out aside Levi’s, as they held each other close, a reminder that the other was still there.

When they had finally calmed down a bit, they wiped their eyes and blew their noses. They gathered the small mountain of used tissues in a plastic bag and to throw in the trash on their way out. Then they sat for a bit longer, side by side this time, arms around each other. They would be okay. Not completely whole, not for a long time, but they would make it. They already were. After all, they had each other. And they did have some great friends, even if they couldn’t replace those they had lost.

Eventually they said their goodbyes, teary though they were, and promised to visit again sooner this time. They put the blanket back in the bag, gathered their belongings, and left the cemetery.

 

* * *

 

They arrived home with red eyes, scratchy throats, and sore noses. They were exhausted. Eren helped Levi pick out a good pair of comfy pajamas and put on his own while Levi had a small snack. This was done mostly without speaking; they had done so much of that today, and neither was sure they wouldn’t start crying again if they tried to use their voices. So they padded around the house quietly, getting ready for bed in a familiar and comforting routine. There was no story tonight, simply the quiet rustle of covers as Eren and Levi curled up together in Eren’s large bed.

Levi whimpered quietly and Eren reached out and took the little boy’s small hand within his own. Their hands came apart eventually, but not until both were finally, blessedly asleep.

They had made it through another day. More than that, they had made it an entire year without three- what would have been four- family members. Nothing was perfect, but they were together, supporting each other, in big ways and in little ones, and that was enough.


	4. Penny Whistle Solo - Roller Duet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren must face... soccer moms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for how long this has taken. In the time since I last posted, I graduated college and got a teaching job. Life has been super busy, but sorry it took so long! If you have suggestions or a cute scenario you would like to see, I can't guarantee I will put it in, but I will definitely consider it! Thanks to all the lovely folks who've left me kudos and comments, and the rest who simply read! I appreciate you! ^.^
> 
> Also this chapter was written over a loooooong period of time, but I did reread as I wrote, so hopefully there are no errors! Happy reading!

The day had come. Eren had tried to prepare himself as best he could, yet he was unsure if anything he did could truly prepare him for the horrors of this day. He took a deep breath. _For Levi,_ he reminded himself. He had to do this. He had to. It was time.

Eren called Levi downstairs, checking to make sure he had everything he needed. Eren felt like he was forgetting something, but it was too late. Levi was dragging Eren out to the car, a wide grin on his face. If Eren wasn’t carrying so many things, he would have gotten out his phone for a picture, because it was adorable.

Eren finished packing everything in the car and reluctantly climbed into the driver’s seat. He sighed deeply as he left the driveway, then began to mentally steel himself for the upcoming hours. He could do it. He would survive. He hoped.

After what was surely too short of a drive, _We can’t be here already, can we?_ , Eren parked the car in the lot and began gathering his armload once more. He trudged slowly up the incline to the place of his doom: little Petra’s 8th birthday party at Skatetricity.

_A stupid name for a stupid place. Why_ here _of all places?_ Eren couldn’t fathom why a bunch of seven and eight year olds _on wheels_ in a small space could ever be a good idea, but he couldn’t just not bring Levi, either. Even if he did have a personal vendetta against the place. First of all, a stranger to the place just driving by would be certain it had long since shut down. Unfortunately, that was not the case. One of the few clues was the signboard that changed sporadically and now read “Happy 8th birthday, Petra!” Eren was pretty sure that the exclamation point was actually an upside-down ‘i,’ but whatever.

Eren refocused his attention on Levi as he opened the door so Eren could get in with all their things. He bypassed the evil claw machine that he once spent _15 dollars_ on trying to win a stupid stuffed llama. Whoever designed something as evil as a claw machine that _spins the prizes around_ may have made good business decisions, but Eren was sure he was a real… well, meanie-head would be the child-friendly way of saying it, he supposed.

Temporarily shoving his hatred for money-grabbing inanimate objects aside, Eren deposited his and Levi’s things in a small booth as close to the entrance as he could find. He handed Levi their present for Petra and asked him to put it on the ever-growing pile amassing at the far end of the room. Eren was determined to stay far away from the nosy soccer moms gossiping by the cake for as long as humanly possible.

Instead, he took out his and Levi’s roller skates. Eren had learned to skate at a time when roller blades were still pretty expensive and his parents hadn’t wanted to spend extra money on something that was just going to get scuffed from falling anyway, so roller skates it was. He had since learned how to use blades as well, but the deep pull of nostalgia that came with skates was often too much to resist. Levi, on the other hand, was given a choice, but had been going through an I-want-to-do-everything-the-way-Eren-does phase, and thus also learned to use roller skates. Eren did have plans to teach him how to use roller blades eventually, but a birthday party full of peers was certainly not the time. _And hopefully this won’t be the place. Ugh._

Eren supposed he was making the place out to be a bit worse than it really was. It wasn’t filthy, but it wasn’t exactly sparklingly clean either. It was rather small, now that he was an adult, but still in pretty good condition overall. It appeared that someone had updated the graffiti on the walls and made the short divider near the eating area more stable. But for the life of him, Eren just could not repress a shudder as he saw that there was still a slight bump in the floor in the doorway to the bathroom. As ten year old Eren could assure you, those were a nightmare when you really needed to go and weren’t paying attention. And still had skates on. And weren’t entirely steady on your skates as it was. Bad times.

Nonetheless Eren slipped on his skates and laced them up tightly, then went to get Levi, giving the soccer moms a wide berth as he did so. Finding him wasn’t hard – you almost _couldn’t_ lose track of someone in here unless they went down the hall to the exit or were in the bathroom. Even so, weaving through the crowd of elementary students wasn’t exactly Eren’s idea of a good day at the roller rink.

“Hey kiddo, ready to skate?” Eren asked. He really hoped the answer was yes. Actually going out and skating was a much more effective method of keeping the soccer moms away than just playing on his phone. They preferred to gossip together, and doing that while moving and not bumping into things was much harder on wheels than in heels. For them, anyway. He had tried the heels thing once. He almost fell down a flight of concrete stairs. Never again.

Levi turned his head and gazed up at Eren. His eyes were shining bright and all Eren could think was that maybe this place wasn’t _so_ bad and maybe he should have brought Levi here more often, nosy soccer moms or no. Seeing Levi so happy was more than enough motivation. Though Eren did hope Levi didn’t get it into his head that he wanted to have _his_ birthday party here or anything. Eren hadn’t told Levi, but he was planning a party already, something he hoped would be a great surprise to Levi.

But at this moment, Eren’s attention was on Levi’s answer, an energetic nod of the head and an excited, “Uh-huh!” as he beamed up at Eren. Eren grinned back and nodded, grabbing Levi’s hand and guiding him out to the polished wooden floor. Eren noticed at that moment that of all the songs they could possibly choose to play at an 8 year-old’s birthday party, someone had decided that _My Heart Will Go On_ fit the occasion perfectly. Levi had never seen the movie, but had certainly heard Eren dramatically signing the song both in the car and at home, as it was on one of his favorite mix CDs. Hand in hand, Levi and Eren completed two laps together, then broke apart as Eren whispered to Levi that the chorus was coming up.

As the chorus began, Eren turned and skated backwards in front of Levi, who was already giggling a bit from Eren’s silly display and his, uh, _artful_ vocal accompaniment. As he sang, he reached out to Levi to pull him close, gently push them apart until only their fingertips touched, and then to grasp Levi’s arm as he spun them in a circle with his free arm spread wide. He brought Levi back in close, skating forward with Levi’s back to his front as he pushed a hand in front of them, reaching as far as he could for increased dramatic effect. By this point, Levi was laughing so hard that Eren had to slow them down for fear that one or both of them would trip and land in a pile on the floor. Eren guided them to the edge and sat them down on the short wall separating the skating rink from the sitting area, tears gathering in the edges of their eyes from their jubilant laughter.

Eren’s heart felt so full, completely overwhelmed with how grateful he was to have Levi in his life, how much he loved to see this little boy grow and laugh and shine, and how grateful he was to be able to continue raising this precious little boy.

After a few minutes of slowing giggles and playful tickles that started the giggles right back up again, they went back onto the floor and skated. Eren took a break after a while to simply watch Levi skate with his friends and enjoy himself (and for Eren get some pictures on his phone, of course).

______________________________________________________________________________

Eventually the party was called off of the ice so that Petra could open her birthday presents. Eren could tell that Levi was excited for Petra to open his, but he wouldn’t jump up and ask her to open his first. Besides, Hanji had already done so, shoving a bright pink bag with white and green polka-dotted tissue paper into Petra’s lap.

As Petra began to open the gift (and Hanji was somewhat-successfully herded back to her seat), Eren’s mind drifted to the day he and Levi had gone to pick out Petra’s present. Eren and Levi had brainstormed on the way to the store, but Levi had been less than helpful since realizing that once Petra had her birthday she would no longer need her booster seat, while Levi would be stuck in his for a few more months.

His suggestions that had originally at least been something _Levi_ would like, they quickly and a bitterly turned to things _very few children_ would ever actually want. Like a shower chair. And a garage sale sign. Really anything Levi saw that he didn’t think Petra could find a way to turn into something fun. Eren had let this go on for about ten minutes, until he could tell Levi’s mood was actually starting to sour and his words had a bitter edge to them. They had a quick chat about why he needed to be kind and get her something she would actually like, and wouldn’t he be upset if she got him a present she wouldn’t like on purpose?

His face was still twisted in a wry grin at the memory when Levi tugged at his sleeve. “She’s gonna open ours next!” he whisper-yelled to Eren.

Eren turned to see Petra tearing into the gift with unbridled gusto. Her smile turned mildly manic, a vague shadow of Hanji’s that promised many, _many_ shenanigans. Levi, too, was smiling widely as Petra fully uncovered the Nerf Rebelle crossbow and extra ‘bullets.’ Levi had wanted to get her the Nerf Rival, but Eren wasn’t sure Petra could have even lifted it, not to mention it was a bit out of their price range. But she was clearly just as happy with the Rebelle, and in fact perhaps a bit _too_ happy.

But if these kiddos were happy and safe, Eren was happy, too. He loved seeing the innocent (well, mostly innocent) expressions on these kids’ faces, and hoped to help keep them there as long as possible.

Even if he did have to share his Crock-Pot Russian Chicken recipe with the soccer moms.

These kids were worth it. The life he was blessed with now, was, and always would be, absolutely worth everything they had been through before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Have a marvelous day, lovely reader! ^.^


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